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Real Sundays: A Weekly Journal - 2005
January 2005: 16th, 30th February 2005: 7th, 20th, 28th March 2005: 7th, 27th April 2005: 3rd May 2005: 15th June 2005: 16th - 21st *Ashland Retreat Experience* July 2005: 3rd, 14th, 15th, 16th, 17th *Comic-Con San Diego, Play by Play* August 2005: 4th, 31st October 2005: 23rd November 2005: 27th End of the Year 2005
So, 2005 is over. It felt like it passed both quickly and slowly at the same time. Is that possible? Well, depending on what you believe, the answer is yes or no. : )So, what have I been doing this year, well, a little of this and a little of that. Let's see....I had one or two acting gigs, I performed twice with and a bunch of times for Neale Donald Walsch, I connected with a number of great friends in Ashland, OR, I became a member of the newly formed "SuperSHEroes," I started working for my friend as her personal assistant, I earned my first degree black belt in Kung Fu and I had my first little Christmas tree in three years!
Okay, so now that I've listed all the things I did, I look back and try to look at all the things I learned. I am just back from Neale Donald Walsch's Holiday Retreat called "Re-creating yourself" for the new year. I was there through the end of 2005 and brought in 2006 with all the people in the group. Now, many of you may never have been to a personal growth retreat, and to tell you the truth, this is only my second time attending one. It was my first retreat with Neale and it was an experience to say the least. When I'm up to it, I will probably make a special journal entry on the retreat experience itself, but right now, the main thing I wanted to mention was how retreats like this truly make you look at who you are and who you want or intend to be. And it is all voluntary, so you can choose to use the information to grow, or not, it's all up to you. But then, isn't life, all up to you? So, all week I was faced with the quesiton of "who am I?" And I often came to the scary conclusion that I didn't know! Aaaaahhh! I know this may sound weird, since so many of you know so much about me it seems almost laughable that I wouldn't know who I am, but sometimes, I really don't. Neale's books (the Conversations With God series and others) all point to the BE, DO, HAVE paradigm, when creating yourself, as opposed to the American paradigm of HAVE, DO, BE. So, if you have to define yourself by something other than what you DO? How would you define yourself? Who are you? What do you want to be? Or what are you being? Do you see why these are difficult, or rather challenging questions to answer?
So, long story short, I still don't quite have the answer, but at least I am actively seeking one! And as I look back at 2005, I see that I want to be performing more for a living and working any kind of regular job less. I see that I want to earn lots of money and have the freedom to do with it what I will, give it away at will, and pay the bills that I feel like paying! I see that I have lost touch with too many of my close friends and I have suffered because of it. I see the same is true of my connections with my family. I see that my life MUST be art based or, for me, it has no meaning, no purpose. I see that I am so incredible blessed to have so many supportive, loving people surrounding me and that I should use them more in my times of need, and I should be more available in their times of need. I see that I am growing and changing and have to acknowledge and embrace that instead of fighting it tooth and nail. I see that love truly does make the world go 'round and can in fact, heal the world of all of it's problems. I truly, truly believe that.
So, with end of 2005 comes the beginning of 2006 and with it, I wish you all more of the blessings and less of the pain. I send you all love from the deepest part of my soul and thank you for all of your love and support. I could not have made it through the year without each and every one of you. I love you all.
November 27th, 2005
So, for the first time in a very long time, I actually have a few minutes to sit down and update my website! It's been forever, even though I plan on doing it every Sunday, it just ends up being the last thing to get...or rather the one thing that doesn't get done! So here I am, a month later, writing to keep you up on the news. The truth is, there isn't much to report. I have been working so much I don't have too much time for anything else. But at the same time, I'm very grateful to have a good job, which I know are often few and far between. So, in any case, here are the few things I have to report, since October 23rd!Well, the first thing I did since the last time I wrote is I went to a good friend's pumpkin carving party. I didn't get to stay long because I had to be up at 4:30 am the next morning for work, I did however get time to carve my pumpkin! I haven't done that in years and it was great, messy fun. I also don't get the opportunity to see too many friends, so that was great fun too. Thank you to Elonwy and Gentry for including me in your life!
In the first week of November, I participated in a Kung Fu parade for my Kung Fu school and then left and an hour later had a test for my next belt with the second style of Kung Fu I study! Ugh! It was a long day, after which I was completely exhausted, but the parade went well and I passed my test! So, all's well that ends well!
That same weekend I performed an original piece of poetry for KCET's Caregiver of the Year Award. That was so inspiring to sit among all the people that have dedicated their lives to caring for the elderly, family or not. I can't tell you what kind of emotion it stirs in you until you sit there and realize that you may be the one needing help one day, and thank God for the existence of people like those that were present that night. Makes one think.
The next weekend I went to see my psychic who said lots of good things. I didn't used to ever want to see a psychic until a good friend gave me a half an hour for my birthday, so I said, what the hell? I've been seeing her about once every other month since. It's cool, not like the crystal ball in the movies! I feel like she's a therapist with insight! I know that sounds weird, but it's true. She's fantastic and I always feel better after seeing her.
Later that night I went to see a play with my friend Mimi. The play was produced by, co-directed by and starring one of my friends, yes, one person did all that. So, I thought I HAVE to support him, he did friggin' everything on this play! It was called "Someone Who'll Watch Over Me" about hostages. It was great, Mimi and I both enjoyed it tremendously. Congrats Darren!
So, on Thursday, November 17th, I had the beginning of the best and worst weekend I've had in a long time! Why you ask? Why, I was just going to tell you!
Thursday night I went to see Shane Black talk at the Writer's Guild. Shane Black, for those of you that don't know is the writer of a little movie called Lethal Weapon, The Long Kiss Goodnight and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (out now). And, furthermore, many of you may not know that The Long Kiss Goodnight is actually one of my favorite films of all time, don't ask me why, it just is! So, he was loads of fun to hear speak. He is funny and incredibly honest and just upfront about his own struggles and his struggles making movies. I thoroughly enjoyed the evening and even got to shake his hand afterwards! Then, you ask what did I do? Why, I went to get in line for the 12:30 am Harry Potter movie!
Yes, I am an avid Harry Potter fan and I can't believe I don't own a wand yet. So, at 9:30pm I went to stand in line for 3 hours to get good seats for the opening of Harry Potter. Thanks to Mimi who joined me after work and we had a fantastic time. The film was great, probably the best of the four and I'm going to see it again and again and again!
So, Friday night I went to see my boss' daughter's school play in which she was fantastic! It made me reminicse about high school and long for the days of doing nothing but going to school and doing plays! Then, later that night I went to see Shane Black's directing debut "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang." Which, if you haven't seen, you must see! It is fast paced, crammed full of adventure and one of the funniest movies I've seen in a long time. If you're a film fan and you don't mind a lot of cussing (there is a lot), you have to see this film. It's not in too many theatres, so you gotta seek it out, but it is well worth it!
Then Saturday I had three hours of Kung Fu, got my oil changed in my car and then went to go see "Capote." One of my students that I tutor (I only see two now on Sundays) had to write a paper on it, so I needed to see it so I would know what in the world she was writing about! It was a great film, another one I highly recommend. The acting is superb and the story is disturbing. You definitely leave the theatre immersed in thought. Unfortunately for me, I was so fatigued at this point that when I was backing my car out of my parking space, I was too immersed in thought and I bumped into the not so forgiving concrete pillars. Aaaaahhhhh!!!! All I wanted to do was scream, but I couldn't even do that. Who am I going to scream at? The pillar? Or myself? I am still quite angry at myself for doing it. It's going to cost me a thousand dollars to fix. Un-friggin-believable! But at the same time, I am grateful for such a small, relatively harmless sign that I needed to rest, much better than any other thing that could have happened.
So, after the film, I went to Elonwy's birthday party and had some very challenging rounds of Twister, ate lots of veggies, drank lots of water and had fun chatting with all her friends and speaking in French to her French friend Julien! It was a nice relaxing time just hanging out, exactly what I needed.
But upon arrival at home that evening, I started to feel sick. And lo and behold, I am still getting over that cold.
So, for Thanksgiving, still getting over my cold, I drove to San Simeon and met my mom and we went to Hearst Castle on two tours on Friday. We had a great time and it is never enough time. I miss her already.
I hope you all had an enjoyable couple of days off from our every day lives and found at least one thing in your life to be grateful for. I am grateful to all of you that care to even read my babblings and all the support you have given me over the years. I love you all and wish only that you continue to spread love in your every day lives, in the moments when you can and especially in those when you think you can't. Spread love, it can save the world! Until next time....
October 23rd, 2005
Oh my goodness, oh my goodness! I have not written for almost two months! Well, I wish I had something really interesting to report, but the truth is I have just been really busy with my new job. I currently work as a personal assistant for a good friend of mine and although the job is great, I couldn't ask for a better boss, it does require some long hours! So here I am, writing, after 2 whole months!Let's see....the news from September is relatively quiet. I had a few auditions, but none panned out, unfortunately. I had two really cool poetry shows (only short sets, but still cool shows), one in Orange County for a Peace Celebration and the other was for my great friend Faith Rivera. She held this amazing concert on September 11th, to not only take a moment for the tragedies of 2001, but to commemorate the fact that Sept. 11th, 1906 is the day Ghandi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." The other special thing about the concert was that it was a "Pay It Forward" concert, meaning everyone that came was paid $5.00 each! And not only did she and her awesome band and a number of artists from the "Be the Change" group that I perform with often perform, but she also had a number of people get up and speak about how they "pay it forward," different people from different organizations. And anyone wanting to donate money to any of the organizations could get their money doubled by her husband's company!!! How cool is that!? It was an awesome event and I am so proud and honored to have been a part of it. Thank you to all who supported.
Let's see, another cool thing that happened in September was that my Master (my Kung Fu Master) recommended me to be profiled in Inside Kung Fu's magazine, and they called me!! So, I did a photo shoot for the profile and will let you know when it's out. But in the meantime, the current Inside Kung Fu magazine has an article on my teacher and the Tai Shing Pek Kwar Monkey Kung Fu that I now study! So, pick one up and enjoy!
October has been mostly work until last week. I went to New Jersey to perform a poem for my dear friend's wedding. The wedding was absolutely gorgeous and perfect. Congratulations to both Joe and Sara on their lifetime commitment to each other! I wish them all the best and most incredible future together.
While on the East Coast I was able to catch up with one other friend, Phyllis, who is now understudying the lead role in a Broadway play! How cool is that! I am so proud of her. And thanks to her (she stood in line for me), I was able to obtain a cancellation ticket to the ever sold out "Wicked." What a great play that is, totally different that I expected. If you get a chance to see the show, take it! And if you can see it on Broadway - even better! The lead woman, Shoshana Bean was absolutely incredible, words can't even describe it. She made me long to have a great singing voice. Alas, I have only been blessed with a mediocre one! Oh well, I will leave the musicals to her. I will have to just do the straight plays......of course....when I get to Broadway, if I decide to get there!
Last weekend I got the chance to see my mommy and we had a great time at the zoo! It's something special that she and I have done since I was a little girl. Time we always enjoy together...
And that is about it. I will say that I have been going through some sort of shift in my life and I'm not sure how it will end. I have been considering the possibility of leaving the acting life behind and moving on to....I don't know what. Grad school is a possibility, but so is teaching. We will see. It's been a difficult thing to face, the thought of giving one thing up for another that was not so high on the "this is what I want to do with the rest of my life" list. But the fact of the matter is that acting in film and television can be one of the most difficult roads because it is not all about your talent, but about your luck and your looks, that, I'm afraid to admit, tend to fade with age. So time will tell what path I take, just wanted to share the thoughts.
So I hope this finds you all well. Thank you all for your love and support, I couldn't have made it this far without you. I wish you all the love your heart desires. Until next time....
August 31st, 2005
Oh my goodness, it has been almost a month since I've written! Well, that's what happens when you start a new job and try to keep up with life all at the same time! To those of you who come here often, I apologize, for the others, welcome!!! So, what in the world have I been doing? Let's see if I even remember!?So the first week in August ended with a wedding rehearsal for my beautiful friend, Debbie Anne Thomas' (now Evans...!) wedding at Calamigos Ranch in Malibu, California. It was my first experience being a bridesmaid and I had a ball. The wedding on Saturday the sixth went off without a hitch. It was by far the most perfect wedding I've ever been to, all the pictures were taken on time, the wedding was perfect, no one fell over, no one flubbed, everything was on time, the bride looked drop dead gorgeous (made the groom cry!!!), the groom looked spectacular in his Scottish kilt, the broom was jumped, the party and dinner were spectacular, and everyone looked absolutely wonderful! I was so happy to have been a part of this incredibly perfect day with one of my most bestest friends! Congratulations Debbie and Michael, I wish you continued happiness in the many years that you will share ahead.
The next week was mostly work, but amongst work was my minimal, but really cool, participation in the Los Angeles Tap Fest. I got to squeeze a few classes in and best of all reconnected with Dick Van Dyke who I'd met almost ten years ago. And the really cool thing was, he remembered me!!!! Can you believe it! Thank you to everyone who taught and danced in the tap fest, it was an awesome experience!
Then, the second weekend of August, I took a day and a half to go see my mommy! Woohoo! She is so close and I don't see her often enough. Usually it's because we are both work-aholics....wonder where I got it!?! So I was finally able to get away and spend some time with her and the awesome dog she dog-sits, Carousel, a rescued Grey Hound. I absolutely love this dog! And my mommy too, of course!
So, Monday of the next week (Aug 15th) I went to work on The Gridiron Gang, starring The Rock!!!! Woohoo! Several weeks ago I booked a small, small role in the movie. I didn't tell you then because I was afraid that it would get written out before we shot and then I wouldn't have anything to really tell you about! But it wasn't written out! Now, when I say small, I mean s s m m a a l l! But I do believe in the old addage "there are no small roles, only small actors." And plus, I thought I might get to meet The Rock! Well, unfortunately, he wasn't on set the two days I worked. And, when you see the movie, there is a high possibility that I won't be there, or that I'll look like an extra, but know that I was officially an actor! With a trailer, costumes, hair and make-up, the whole nine! Another cool thing was that a friend of mine who is also in the movie (with actual lines and stuff) was working that day, so we got to see each other and support each other. Thank you to everyone on the set of Gridiron Gang, you all made it a great experience for my first studio film!
Then, on Sunday the 21st, my good friend Conneta Johnson was consecrated as a Bishop in the Madonna Ministries, and, as a present to her, I read two poems of mine that she loves as part of the service. It was so moving to watch. Thank you to Conneta and all of Humanity's Team So Cal that have brought me so much joy and love in the last couple of months!
Wow, a lot has happened this month! And that's not all! Buy now, and you can still take advantage of our August's third week special...two more auditions!!! Woohoo! So, Wednesday the 24th I had to catch a plane to Ashland, OR in order to audition for the Conversations With God movie. They were only casting in Ashland, so if wanted to be in the movie, you had to go there! Like I have a problem with going to beatiful Ashland and spending time with all my spiritual family and relaxing, and playing with everyone's dogs, and....oh yeah, auditioning! But then, the Monday before I left, I got a call from my agent for an audition on Wednesday! I thought, "Oh crap, it's gonna be when I'm gone! Ugh, this always happens!" But wait, the story's not over yet! The audition was scheduled for right before my flight!
So I made it to my first audition for a television show called "Still Standing" and did well I thought. But really I had decided to just have fun because really I was stressed about making it to my plane on time! Well, it all went well and I made my flight.
My friend Phil came to get me at the airport and that night we went to a thing called "Family Night" at the home of one of Ashland's well known residents. It was so much fun that I'm trying to figure out how to copy his idea down here! Everyone who works with or for him and / or is related or a friend is invited. People come, talk, eat, play games....like poker (I won $15!), and Catch Phrase, and basically just connect with each other. How simple and yet important an idea is this, actually connecting with each other!!!!
The next morning I went to my audition and arrived early so I thought I had some time to relax. Well, just as I sat down to chill, they decided to call me in early! Aaagghhh! So, I went in, did my best, flubbed a line or two, but recovered well, and they said thanks. We were supposed to be by our phones that night because callbacks were the next day. Well, I waited with bated breath for my phone to ring.....and waited.....and waited......and waited.............................. and, the phone never rang : ( Yup, it's true, I didn't get a callback! I have to say that I was truly devastated in the moment. It was such an important thing to me to be a part of this film, it's so in line with where I am in life now! But the truth is, that is true for almost everyone who auditioned, I'm sure. So, Friday I spent most of the day sulking and sleeping, two things that I'm brilliant at! Then, Friday night my friends Phil, Nick, and Tara all took me out to a great dinner and we hung out the whole evening and just talked. By Saturday I was feeling mostly better and Tara and another new friend Lisa decided to have a girls day out and we went to the nearby Stewart Mineral Springs, where you bathe (in a private room) in exfoliating, healing mineral spring water at the temperature of your choice, take a few minutes in the sauna, then dip in the sixteen degree natural creek outdoors. Then, you repeat the cycle two or three times and soon find that you are so unbelievably relaxed, you can't believe it! What a great experience.
That night was a reprise smaller version of Family Night and another poker winning night for me! (I won $33 dollars this time!)
Then came Sunday and my trip home. What a perfectly imperfect weekend. Thank you to everyone who made it such an incredible experience, Phil, Tara, Nick, Neale, Jimmy, Lisa, Lynnette, Nikita, CornFlower, Tristan, Meagan, Isabelle, Sasha, Simba, Lady, and everyone else whose names escape me at the moment!
Oh, I forgot to tell you, that when I got off the plane in Ashland, I had a message from my agent saying that I had a callback for the television show! Then I thought again, "Oh no! It's gonna be for when I'm out of town! This always happens to me!" But it was scheduled for Monday! How perfect!
So this past Monday I had a great callback for the show. I'm pretty sure I didn't book it since I haven't heard yet, but I feel really good about my work and am thankful for the opportunity! Thank you to Lisa Miller Katz for making the audition process as enjoyable as it could be!
And, well, that brings us to today! The end of August, the beginning of the fall, school, September.... I hope this finds all of you well and better informed about what I've been doing! I am continually grateful for all of your support and please know that no matter how long it may take me to return an email, or send a picture, I am always thinking of you all and holding love for you in my heart and mind! Continue to love each other and yourselves, because you can only give away what you have inside! I love you all.....Until next time....
August 4th, 2005
Oh my goodness, it has been half a month since I've written! Well, it isn't the first time....and I wish I could say it's the last, but we all the know that's not true! Well, needless to say, I've been busy....doing lots of things. Let's see, where to begin...The Monday after returning to Los Angeles from Comic-Con I started a new job working as a personal assistant. It is a great job with an old friend who has given me the freedom to work for her, and, when it arises, the time off to pursue my acting and poetry careers. How awesome is that!
That Saturday, July 23rd, I tested in one of my Kung Fu classes, my teacher's teacher is teaching his higher ranked students Shaolin Kung Fu. But before the testing, I taught an SAT class! So, I ran from that to the test, warmed up and prayed for the best. I just found out I passed!!! So, I'm officially a green belt in that system. Woohoo!
The next day I participated in a One Day Embracing Change Event, facilitated by my good friend Phil. It was his first time facilitating solo, and he was awesome! This event was a shorter version of the one I took in Ashland earlier this year. We had a great group of people and worked through some awesome processes. I had a great time and it was a great reminder of how to get in touch with and continue to BE the person I want to be, instead of some fractured, or askewed part of that person. If you want to learn more about Embracing Change, you can visit their new website at www.EmbracingChange.org. (And pay close attention to the introduction flash movie.... I wrote it!!! Woohoo!)
The next week was mostly work, except for Tuesday. Tuesday, my friend from Ashland, Kim, came down on her way to Australia. Well, I took the day off and she, I, and Phil (who was leaving the next day to move to Ashland) all went to......you guessed it, DISNEYLAND!!! Woohoo!!!! I haven't been in so long, and those of you that know me, or have been reading this journal, know how much I LOVE DISNEYLAND!!! We only had a short time there, but it was time enough to ride Space Mountain, Indiana Jones, Star Tours, and The Haunted House. It was awesome! I took Kim to the airport that night, and said goodbye to her and Phil! Thank you to both of them, my boss (for the day off), and Mimi, for subbing for me, for the wonderful day!
Then, Friday night was awesome.......why you ask? Because my fellow SuperSHEro, Ali Handal's, boyfriend, was performing at the Magic Castle!! Yes, he's a magician, how cool is that! If you don't know, or have never heard of the Magic Castle, then let me explain. The Magic Castle (as far as I know) started as a sort of private magicians club, like back to the days of Houdini. It was a place where they would teach each other, amaze each other, and so on. To this day, it is quite exclusive, and though they do have shows, every night of the week, it is a special thing to get to go because you have to be a member, or invited by a member to even get in! So, for me, any opportunity I have to go, I do my best to make it! This was my third time there, and it was amazing as usual. We were there with the third SuperSHEro, Faith Rivera and her hubby and we all had a ball. Thanks to Andrew (Ali's bo) we had the special reserved seats for the main show, that was not only magical, but hilarious....I mean it, one of the magicians was so funny I was laughing 'til I cried! And of course, Andrew was absolutely awesome, literally, and I mean LITERALLY! pulling coins from thin air! I swear! It was incredible. And that was just the beginning of his show! Thank you to Ali, Faith, Nolan, and Andrew for an awesome time.
Then, this past weekend, I was honored with the opportunity to present a few poems as part of Neale Donald Walsch's presentation at Agape Church. Several of you (my boss included!) made it out and supported, and I am so thankful for that. The presentation was absolutely awesome. I went there not knowing exactly what poems he wanted me to present, or how it was all going to work, but it just flowed. There were about 300 people there, who, I feel, really began to see themselves, the beauty and power that they all possess, their own incredible ability to heal, themselves and others. It was just awesome. Many people supported both Neale and I afterward, and I was just blown away by all the love. Thank you to all of you, everyone who attended, to Faith, without whom this incredible opportunity would not have been possible, and Neale, for taking the leap toward something different and believing in me and my work. How blessed am I!!!!????
There is one thing from the talk I would like all of you to share. Neale was talking about how one heals a room. Asking each of us to really consider that every time we walk into a room, we are there to heal it. And he gave us three simple instructions to do this:
1. LOOK at each other for at least three seconds. Take each other in and really look at one another.
2. SMILE; let them know you like what you're seeing, after all, it is just another you, cleverly disguised as someone else, right?
3. TOUCH; a gentle, kind, loving touch, of hands, a hug, a shoulder touch. Neale brought up a great point about how many people in our world aren't touched on any type of regular basis. Imagine what hugging this person could bring, just a simple, kind, loving hug.
I challenge everyone reading this to attempt to do these three things the next time they walk into a room, any room, and just see what happens. Try it on the street, in an elevator, in the conference room, in the classroom, just see what happens. Then let me know! I'm curious to know how it affects your life.
Then, this week was work again and also getting ready for my girlfriend Anne's wedding! She's getting married this Saturday!!! AAAAhhhhh!!! And I'm a bridesmaid....AAAAHHHhhhh!!! I've never been in a wedding before, so it has been an all new experience for me. So, I've picked up my dress, got my shoes, the jewelry and tomorrow is the wedding rehearsal, to which I decided to wear my shoes to be sure I can walk in them! I am so excited for her, I can't wait.
So that is about it for the last three weeks. I hope this finds you all well, and floored that I actually updated my site!!!! Some big things are right around the corner, I can feel it, so stay tuned! In the meantime, please remember to love yourselves and love others and TELL yourself and those others that you love them! Then, practice the three things to heal a room, and you'll be on the way to a more awesome, powerful, loving, healing you! Be the grandest vision of yourself. You are worthy, you deserve it! I love you all and am continually grateful for your love and support. Until next time....
Comic-Con International - The Experience
July 14th, 2005
So it's Thursday and I finally got on my way to San Diego for the screening of the short film I starred in called "Unwelcome." Our film was an official selection of this year's Comic-Con International Independent Film Festival. The truth is I was supposed to leave late last night, but was too tired. So here I was, Thursday morning, in traffic! Gotta love Southern California!For me, the way I always know I'm close to San Diego, besides the street signs that say "San Diego" are the caution signs on the freeway depicting entire families running across the freeway. If you have never seen these before, imagine a caution sign with a deer or something on it, now replace the deer with a male figure, a female figure, and a child, holding hands, wind blowing in their hair and having them all running. The signs make sense, there are people trying to run across the freeway, running across the border to enter the states, but it always strikes me as odd.
So, I finally arrive at Mrs. Smith's house, our grand director's mother. She graciously housed four of us involved in the film who came down to support the screening. I arrived shortly after nine a.m. and I changed my clothes and hopped in Gentry's car with the others for the drive to the trolley station that would take us to the convention center and allow us to avoid the craziness of parking. We arrived at the Conference around 10:30 am only to find lines a mile long for registration - even the line for the professionals! Oh well, nothing to it, but to do it. So, since Elonwy (Gentry's girlfriend, and producer on his next film) and Gentry had been to the convention floor (the place with all the booths and artists and cool, crazy stuff to buy and look at) the night before, they stood in line for myself and Ari (an actor from the film). So, Ari and I hit the floor armed with postcards for our film inviting the masses to come and support. It was unreal. I have never been to a Comic Book Convention before, so I was incredibly surprised. I mean, you walk in, and there are an incredible amount of cool displays, huge toys, lego Darth Vaders, Harry Potter Castles, and people all dressed to match, fairies, Batman, Catwoman, X-Men, you name it, I saw it. So Ari and I handed out a bunch of flyers and then went to meet Gentry and Elonwy once they got to the front of the line.
So, when my badge printed, it didn't print quite right and the word "professional" was overlapping with something else. No else's badges did that, only mine. So, being the anal keeper of unnecessary things that seem special to me, I waited in another line to get my badge reprinted. They did it graciously and tried not to laugh at me!
So, it was on to the panels. The first panel I was able to make it to was a panel starring Don Levine, the creator of G.I. Joe. It was cool because while I was waiting to go into the room, I noticed this older man standing with an older woman whose badge said "Nia Levine." I then realized I was standing next to this icon! So, I said hello, introduced myself and chatted with Don Levine before the panel! He's doing some cool things, coming out with a new line of toys, comic books, music and such, all geared toward positive values and biblical stories. I was impressed with his wit, kindness and honesty. An awesome way to begin my experience.
Then, I went to a larger panel with David Cronenberg who most recently directed "A History of Violence" starring Viggo Mortensen. It was cool to see the previews, but I figured out that the larger panels in the big rooms were not going to interest me. There was no possibility of personal contact and it was just impersonal. So, I ducked out a little early and then went to stand in line to get his autograph! I mean, I've got to have my priorities straight! Well, I wasn't the only one to have that idea because by the time I got toward the front of the line (after the panel and having stood in line for like 45 minutes) - David announces that he is going to leave right at 6:30pm. Well, needless to say, myself, and those behind me, got really concerned about even getting to the front. Luckily I did make it there. Gentry went first and gave him a flyer to film, then I went and pointed to the flyer and said "I'm starring in it!" He smiled and wished me luck, so that was pretty cool, but also telling of the fact that he wasn't coming! Oh well. We tried!
Then, it was time to prepare for the screening. While Gentry and I were on the way to the room, Elonwy caught up with us and told us incredible news. She saw Tom Jane (The Punisher) standing on the floor and went to say hello and handed him promotional DVD for Gentry's next film! Then, just a few minutes later she ran into Amber Bensen from Buffy the Vampire Slayer! On top of which, Elonwy was wearing Jane's hat from the show "Firefly" that has become a film called "Serenity"- all created and written by Joss Whedon. The Serenity table let us borrow the hat for someone to wear during the Q and A after the film!
So, the whole gang, we were seven by now, Elonwy, Gentry, Ari and Rich (actors from the film), myself, Jimmy (the composer) and Brian (the sound designer). We had a great turn out and the film was a hit. People were excited about the t-shirts we were tossing out and had great intelligent questions to ask. What an awesome experience!
So, that night, we all went to eat and relax a little at the Tin Fish just across the street from the convention center. We relaxed a little, then headed home to Gentry's mom's house, then relaxed and chatted some more, then we all fell out. We were sooooo tired!
July 15th, 2005
So Friday morning we were all a little slow to rise, but we did, and got ourselves to the trolley and to the convention. We were all in a weird space because now we didn't have flyers to hand out...so what do we do? Well, Gentry is raising money for his next feature film and we decided to make that all of ours goal, to get the promotion DVDs into the hands of people that can help make it happen.I spent most of the morning on the floor with Jimmy, exploring everything and buying even more!!! Oh no! We took lots of fun pictures and had fun just getting lost in it all.
Meanwhile, Elonwy, a true "Firefly" fan, they call themselves BrownCoats, was hanging out by the Serenity table when she turns around and runs into none other than Joss Whedon! Oh my goodness! For those that don't know, Joss Whedon is the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel and a ton of other great projects. He actually graduated from Wesleyan also and I have always wanted to meet him....but here Elonwy does and I'm no where to be found! So, Elonwy gives him a promotional DVD and chats with him a bit. But, where was I?
I was in a panel talking about getting more Black characters into comic books, as well as opening up the audience to the Black characters. It was a thought provoking panel and I'm glad I went. I met some newcomers to the comic book world as well as pros like Reggie Hudlin (yes, the film director) and I also met the CEO of Dark Horse Entertainment who told us how to get things to him! Perfect! After chatting it up with the panel as best I could, I headed back to the floor to wander again. I found the young Black comic book writer's booths and went to support them and their success. I had a great talk with Jeremy Love of Gettosake (www.GettoSake.com). He is making a name for himself in the business and his comics are awesome.
I caught up with Elonwy at the panel called "Do Women Write Differently?" Amber Bensen, Nancy Holder, Betsy Mitchell, Rebecca Moesta, and R. H. Stavis sat on the panel. It was great and I found a whole list of books that I need to read! I got everyone's autograph afterwards and thanked them for simply representing the women in world of writing.
So, Friday night ended calmly and simply and we headed back to the house where Gentry's mom bought us all pizza! We were soooooooooooo spoiled! So we ate and then all passed out!
Comic-Con Pix!
click to viewThank you all for your kind words and thoughts, I feel them support me at all times, and I am truly grateful. I hope this finds you all well, loving, and being loved. Until next time....
July 3rd, 2005
Okay, for you "Alias" fans out there (and let it be said first that I have only seen the first three seasons as I don't get regular television, so I have to wait for them to come out on DVD), have you ever noticed that several of Rambaldi's artifacts require that you break something to get to the good stuff. I was watching season three today and it seemed like every five seconds Arvin Sloane was throwing a Rambaldi piece on the ground, breaking it, to get to the good stuff. Why? Who knows. I still love the show, regardless. Just an observation.Okay, so it's actually a Sunday, and I'm actually writing! Who else is in shock?! Okay, so what in the world has been going on this week? Well, I'm in kind of 'mood' today, it was worse earlier, so forgive me if I seem a bit brief. Soooo, two weeks ago....hmmmm
The rest of the week of June 20th actually was a pretty cool week. I finally unpacked from Ashland (which was really unpacking from New York where I went the week before and hadn't fully unpacked)! That is a feat deserving "good marks" in its own right! Then I got a call Tuesday night that I had an audition on Thursday! Woohoo! An audition! The last audition I had before that was in May and before that well, I don't even remember! So, I was really excited. Then, when I looked up what part it was for I found out it was for a lead role in a pilot!!! (A pilot - for those that don't know - is the first show in a potential series of shows, they do one and see how people like it.) And, on top of that, it was for a casting director that I've never met, but have been trying to meet for like ever! So, I spend the next two days preparing for the audition and went in and did my best. I felt good about it. Unfortunately I did not get a call-back, but that's okay. I met a new casting director, and as far as I'm concerned, I did a great job with the material. So, that was great.
Then Saturday of last week I was supposed to have a show with the Be The Change concert folks, but unfortunately it got canceled. It ended up being okay though because I spent some time with a fellow SuperSHEro, Faith and her husband. We had a great time hanging out and then played Robert Kiyasaki's (sp?) Cash Flow board game. How awesome is that game! If you don't have it, get it. It is so telling of how you think of money and then how you should think of money! There are essentially two main parts to the game, the first is a circle called the "Rat Race" and the second is, well I forget because I didn't spend much time there, but it's the great place where you're financially independent! So the Rat Race is a circle where you go around, get your paycheck, get opportunities to invest money, buy things, have babies, and so on. Now, the goal is to get out of the Rat Race as quickly as possible (he says you should play it until you can get out in less than an hour). And how, you ask, do you get out of the Rat Race? By having your passive income (meaning income that you do not 'work' for, like rent that comes in from rental properties, interest and so on) exceed your monthly expenses. Once that is done, then you're out. So how long did it take me to get out of the Rat Race? FOREVER!!! It took me three and a half hours! My poor friends finally had to kick me out. They only let me stay so long because I begged to not go home having been stuck in the Rat Race! Anyway, a great game to get your thoughts about money straight and on track. I highly recommend it!
Then Sunday was a full day. First was my dear friend Anne's Bridal Shower which was very quaint at a nice tea house in Santa Monica. It was a great way to start the day with loving women wishing my friend well in her soon to be union with her man! Thank you to Holly for organizing a great time.
Then, I went to the Southern California's Humanity's Team 2nd year anniversary barbecue. It was wonderful because I got to reconnect with several people from the Bard Conference in New York and meet some new faces as well. Thanks to Charles and Conneta who made that a great success. In fact, I had said I would bring cheesecake to the event, so I did, but there were so many desserts that they didn't even touch my cheesecake. So I took it home. And, guess what I've been eating all week! I'm like five thousand pounds heavier!
Anyways, after those two events, I met up with another friend of mine to go see Mr. and Mrs Smith. Well, we were all at the good part, where everything from the previews had already happened and you don't know what's coming next, and the lights come up and the movie stops and there's a voice telling you to calmly exit the theatre! It was the fire alarm! Ugh! Someone had pulled the alarm, and there was no going back in. So my friend and I received rain checks and went on our way. I still don't know how the movie ends.....DON'T TELL ME!
Then, the beginning of this week was spent primarily helping my friend Christian Pankhurst (www.Embracing-Change.org) with editing and writing a little bit of new content for his new website. I will let you know when it is officially launched. But I wrote a lot so that I could pick the best pieces out of several for what he needed. It was a fantastic challenge, having to be topic specific, word specific and emotion specific. It's good to work my writing skills like that, helps me stay sharp!
Let's see, so the rest of the week was pretty normal. My friend and I used our rain check tickets to go see War of the Worlds on Wednesday night. I know lots of people think Tom Cruise has fallen off his rocker, but he was great in the film. I know this is going to sound weird, but I didn't like the beginning or the end, but I thoroghly enjoyed the middle! I know, I'm weird.
Then Thursday I went to try on my bridesmaid dress to see if it needed any alterations. I actually got a size smaller than they recommended and was nervous that it wouldn't fit at all. But, lo and behold, it fit perfectly! Not a thing has to be altered, not even the hem! Woohoo! Anne, the bride, came with me to the fitting because I'm the only bridesmaid that lives here. She was ecstatic to finally see the dress on someone. It was fun. I've never been in a wedding before, so it's all a new experience to me.
And then, later that day, I get another call from my agent! I have another audition to start this upcoming week off with! How cool is that. This one is for a very small role, but that's okay. It's for a new casting director (new to me - one I've been trying to meet for like EVER) and I'm excited about the opportunity. I really feel like there are great things right around the corner. And if not, well then I'm having a great time turning that corner anyway! Yahoooooo!
So, yesterday I rested and today I returned a bizillion emails and rested and watched Alias and learned the art of writing run-on sentences! I went out a little today to meet my friend Christian at the airport before his flight to Australia where he'll be for the next six months running retreats. (So if you're there, check out the website and go to one! www.Embracing-Change.org) We had dinner and chatted for a while. He's so good at pulling out all the stuff that you'd rather stuff inside. I hate and love that about him. So we had a good talk about fears, and why I have them, and where they come from and possible solutions, and again, about run-on sentences. It was a good talk that I needed to have. He asked me questions that I truly need to ask myself. Mainly, why do I have the fears I do? And what is it that I really fear? Because the real truth is there is nothing to fear, right? So, why do we fear? Tough questions, no simple answer, unless of course, the answer's so simple it evades us all. In any case, I truly enjoyed seeing him again before he leaves for so long. Thank you Christian for your friendship.
So that is all she (or I) wrote! Lots of good stuff and not too much bad stuff. But there's usually a good side to the bad, so the bad's okay too. I hope this finds all of you well. And to paraphrase Neale Donald Walsch...I hope that you continue to create your grandest vision of you. Love one another, love yourself, spread love. It is the answer. I love you. Until next time....
June 16th - 21st, 2005
Friday, June 17th: So yesterday at 6am I left Los Angeles for Ashland, Oregon. I left my apartment praying that it will not be infested by ants over the next couple of days. But I will have to wait until I return to find out. I was originally going to leave at 3:30 am to miss traffic out of LA, but of course, I went to bed too late and had to sleep longer. But, hey, one would think that leaving at 6am I still wouldn't get caught in too much traffic. Well, one was very wrong. I hit a large thick of traffic out of LA and it added an hour onto my already scheduled to be 11 hour drive. Oh well, nothing to it but to do it!So, I finally get out of LA and am on the drive to Ashland. The 5 freeway, for most people, is a less than interesting drive because there is a lot of flat land. I, however, am still fascinated by it because it reminds me that California is truly an agricultural state. In LA, with all the lights, glimmer, struggling, poverty, it's easy to forget that California's main contribution to the states is its fruit of the land! Farms fascinate me. I also get re-inspired not to eat cow when I see some of the cow farms and how they are all bunched into small areas, on top of each other, in conditions that do not seem humane.
Well, I was able to put the top of my car down for some of the ride, once it warmed up. But after about 2 hours of sun, the clouds came in and it got cool. I pulled off to get gas and decided to put the top up. Well, once I was on the road again, it started to rain! Talk about perfect timing!
So, I drove, I drove and I drove through droves of farms and small towns until I started to see signs for Ashland! Woohooo! At the top of California is a beautiful place called Lake Shasta. I went there as a child I remember, waterskiied there with the YMCA. But I didn't remember how beautiful it was. Unfortunately, it was still raining cats and dogs (and boy do they thump when they hit your car!!!), and I couldn't see very much, in fact I couldn't see two cars in front of me! Well, I still saw the trees and the clouds and the road!
As soon as I arrived in Oregon the sun came out! If that isn't a sign, I don't know what one is! Ashland was only a short drive once I reached Oregon, and my motel was right off the freeway! That was awesome.
I have a nice room that has a fridge and a microwave, that is so unusual, I'm so glad.
So, why am I here? Well, last week when I was in Rhinecliff, NY at Bard University with Neale Donald Walsch's "Seed of Transformation" conference, sponsored by Humanity's Team, www.HumanitysTeamUS.org, I met loads of wonderful people from all over the world. One of these people is Christian, who also happens to run these Embracing Change retreats all over the world to help people get in touch with who they really are. I don't know exactly what happens, but I know the point is to deal with those things that keep you from being the person you envision. While I was at the conference in NY, even though I was there as a performer, I really realized that I do not have the life that I envision. My relationship with my boyfriend is lacking in many areas, my life is lacking in many areas, and in general I am not that happy. At the conference I felt so much love. I was surrounded by all these wonderful people who had a vision for not only themselves, but also the world. I was inspired to change the things in my life that I was unhappy with. I felt the conference reconnected me to the Universe in some way. But I also felt that I didn't get enough time to do all the work I needed to do, for myself, the work that needs to be done before I can help anyone else. So, I took all the money I made from CD sales and gave it to Christian to join in his next retreat in Ashland.
So here I am, a willing participant to the recreation of my life. I'm scared to pieces, already crying buckets at the thought of what this weekend is going to entail. I don't know why I'm so scared, but I think it has something to do with those secrets that we all keep down inside, those things that we truly wish were, and aren't, or those things we truly wish weren't and are. But there is a point, that as a grown up, we just say, well this is how it is and how it has to be and there's no more, no changing it. But the truth is, that's not the truth. But in order to live truthfully, many things in our lives will have to change...friends, boyfriends, jobs.
I want to be living a life that is meant to be, a life I want to be living, doing work I want to be doing, growing, loving, making a difference. I don't want to live a life based on, or existent because of fear.
So, tonight is the first meeting of the retreat. I am going into town today, maybe get a manicure / pedicure to relax a while.
I’ll keep you posted.
Monday, June 21st: So, now it is Monday, and the entire weekend is past. I had intended to write every day, but found it extremely difficult because of the fatigue I faced. We were in session for several hours Friday night and then back in session first thing in the morning Saturday morning. Saturday was an all day event as well as Sunday. So, yesterday, Monday, I drove back to Los Angeles (a good 12 hours with rest stops) and fell right to sleep upon arrival. So now I am up and writing, figuring out how to share what I experienced!
First let me tell you about Ashland. I did not end up getting a manicure / pedicure / pampering that I wanted because they were all booked up! Ugh! But I did walk around downtown Ashland and just enjoyed the vibe. Tons and tons of trees are absolutely everywhere! And every time you remember to look up, why, there are the surrounding mountains, majestically meeting the sky and inviting you to play in their midst.
The streets were full of Shakespeare goers as the Ashland Shakespeare Festival was in full swing. Each store has something so special to offer that I had to stop going in the stores for fear that I would empty my entire bank account with purchases! I did finally break down and buy a couple pairs of earrings, but I didn't go too overboard.
The town was friendly with smiling people at every turn. I spent several hours enjoying the experience, then went back to the motel to do my own manicure / pedicure!
Then, that night, it was off to the races. I had no idea what to expect, no idea who would be there, no idea how I was going to react to what was about to happen. All I knew was that I was open to the possibilities, and lo and behold, that's all I needed...was to be open!
So what in the world did we do at this retreat you ask? Well, I can't tell you exactly what I did per se, because I was so in the moment, I don't know that I could accurately articulate the exercises. It was as if I was in an ocean and was taught to ride each wave as it came, not being concerned with the wave that passed or the wave that was on its way, but simply being in the wave that was present. I learned to pay close attention to the truth, within me and the truth that the world projects around me. I can tell you that every single person who participated fully in the retreat, myself included, faced their worst fears and smiled in their presence. We created a vision of our dream lives, committed them to the page and declared them to be to the universe. We battled our doubts and won, we existed in a room full of support and unconditional love, we sang, we danced, we hugged, we cried, we laughed, and we evolved. What an incredible journey and gift to ourselves. If you are on a path toward your personal evolution and wish to learn to apply all the wisdom you read in books, this retreat is absolutely for you – a retreat purposefully created to bring about unconditional love and authenticity within ourselves and thus in our communities and the world. When we learn to embrace all parts of us, we create this blinding beauty within. We can all Embrace our Change. I challenge each of you reading this to find a retreat near you and go. I would love to hear about your experiences. Oh, and here's the website: www.Embracing-Change.org. Go there now!
I hope this finds you all well and not angry with me for being out of touch. Remember, you are purposefully here in this world, it would not be the same without you. Remember to love each other and yourself. You can be the difference, you can be the change, you can "be the change you wish to see in the world!" (Mahatma Ghandi).
Unitl next time....
May 15, 2005
Well, I'm back from my search for the fountain of youth.....and I've found it .....it's LAUGHTER ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! So I've had a few computer issues lately and have hesitated / avoided writing. Okay, okay, so I've been in a little bit of a depression / re-thinking my life situation. But I'm well, mostly.So, what in the world has been happening with good old / not-so-old Naffy Taffy?
The Rest of April:
I spent trying to get to Disneyland to celebrate my birthday. (Yeah I love the place, don't ask me why, I just do. It's one of those places that helps make the rest of the world disappear!) Sadly, I still haven't made it there.....hopefully sooooooon.I had a great poetry show at Cal State Los Angeles' "Take Back the Night' – gathering. It was great night of performances and speakers, so touching. I also had an awesome photo shoot for SuperSHEroes (www.SuperSHEroes.com ). Thanks to Richard Carr (photographer), Sherry (make-up) from OnLocationBeauty.com, and Mimi Moss (styling).
Now for May:
May has been a work month mostly. I had several tutoring students who were preparing for their SATs in May, so that took up a lot of my time. Unfortunately I have not had any auditions or acting work in the last two months. Aargh! I did, however, have a great show with two fantastic poets, SekouThaMisfit.com, and Mayda del Valle at my friend Lia's film fundraising skate party. Thanks to a few of you who supported and came out, we all appreciate you and your support. It was a great time, I have to say.The one thing I really want to be doing more of, besides acting, is writing. I actually started this one script that I've been trying to start FOREVER! So that felt good. But with my funky computer these days, I haven't been able to hop on and type like I like to. Keep your fingers crossed that that will be fixed by the end of the week! Wooohoooo!
So my goals for the summer are to film a short film and complete at least a first draft of at least one of two scripts that I want to write.
That's about it right now. I encourage you all to set some summertime goals, simple or complicated, but give yourself something to work for. I hope you are all well. I would like to send some love to my dear friend Locks who recently lost his mother. As he puts it, 'she passed on to the higher planes.' Although I only met her a few times, I will always hold her dear in my heart. May we all continue to love the best we know how. Until next time.....
April 3, 2005
So, it is actually Sunday and I actually have time to write. I realize now that most Sundays I work most of the day, usually up until 9pm or so, so that's why I'm usually so tired when I get home. This week was not too eventful. The only think that is huge is that I am moving...not far, but out on my own again. My boyfriend and I are not breaking up, we are just giving each other some space. It is hard trying to see what belongs to whom after three years! So that is the biggest thing that happened this week. I spent a lot of my free time looking for something that I could afford. So my new place (I'm not there yet) is HUGE!!! (Not really, it's tiny, but maybe if I think it's huge, it will eventually feel that way.)So, I didn't work too much this week because most of my students were on Spring Break. Unfortunately not all of them were on Spring Break during the same time so I could've taken a real vacation! Well, having a few days off was nice enough. But then I got sick! Ugh!
I was too sick to train Kung Fu this week even. I'm almost better now, so that's good at least.
Today my boyfriend and I went to see Sin City. I thought it was great. It's extremely artistic, almost like a moving painting. I really enjoyed the performances, but the story did get a little slow in some places. I wrote a little more about it on my "myspace" page at www.MySpace.com/superwoman.
We also watched a DVD called "Bruce Lee: A Warrior's Journey," a documentary on his life and particularly about his "Game of Death." It was incredible and if you are even a little bit of a Bruce Lee fan, you must see this. It has a lot of his interviews when you get to see Bruce for Bruce. It was so interesting to get an inside look on his growth as a martial artist and his views on life and the truth about self-expression. He really was a great philosopher as well. Okay, you get it, I loved the film. It was funny because at first I didn't want to see it!
I also watched "Elektra" this weekend. Not the best story, but had some cool fight scenes and effects. I'm a Jennifer Garner fan, I'll admit, so I actually was entertained the whole time.
So, that's about it. I almost got to go to Chicago to perform a poem in a one night only play mixing art, poetry and music. Unfortunately I have to work the next day and they can't get me back in time. Waaaahhh! Thank you to Naima for reaching out and including me in her vision. If you're in the area, you should check out the project, and if you're not, check out her website www.AllHypePoetry.com!
So, as Bruce says, stay flexible and pliable, 'change with change,' let 'no limitations be the only limitation'! Love and love and love some more, yourself and others! Until next time!
March 27, 2005
Well, it finally happened. After avoiding getting sick from months of contact with sick people at work and sick kids that I tutor, my body broke down this weekend and got sick! AAaahhh! I was doing so great! At least I have time to rest a little this weekend, which is unusual for the weekends.So, what you ask has been going on? Well, I've been working my day job a lot, trying to make as much money as I can before the summer (things slow down for me during the summer). So, besides regular work:
I went to see one of my co-workers in a play two weeks ago. She was great. I had a few issues with the actual play, but her performance was wonderful. I don't get to make it to theatre very often because of my schedule, I was glad to be able to fit it in. Congratulations Alvina!
Then, last week, my publicist set up an interview for me with AllHipHop.com. Hopefully I will appear in the alternative section soon. I'll keep you posted. The woman who interviewed me, Ashlene, was extremely intelligent and had some really great questions for me. She made me think! Thanks to Joe and Ash for making that happen.
That Thursday I went to the Women In Film's Independent Filmmaker's series to see two films by my friend Jacq. Both films were really well receieved and I was glad to be present. Thanks to Mimi for joining me in all the fun. Jacq is going to be a huge director, writer and producer one day, I know it!
Then, that Saturday, I went to a screening of a film I was in at "The Other Venice Film Festival" in Venice. It was the film Naked Brown Men. I wish I could say it was a great success, but there were a number of technical difficulties that made it a painful experience. The DVD (of which they had two) kept skipping and stalling and they couldn't figure out what the problem was. The good part is that several people signed up to come to another screening of the film because they liked what they saw! The bad part was that the audience didn't get to experience the flow of the film, or the end! Afterward, the cast (myself included) and family went to eat at a nearby barbecue spot. The food was great! The best part about the night was catching up with the rest of the cast, good friends of mine from several years back. It's funny how some people drift in and out of your life. I sometimes ask myself if it's my fault, if I fall off and stop communicating. I know really though it's usually both people doing that, getting overwhelmed with their own lives, letting some people slip away. I do believe that sometimes it is meant to be, relationships that have to move on or be let go of, but sometimes I feel like there are some people that I shouldn't have let go of so easily. That being said, I find that in life, those you loved, you will always love, no matter where they are. And those that are supposed to be a part of your life will eventually come back into your circle. The key is to remain open to the possibilities and let those that we love, know they are loved at every opportunity.
So, speaking of people I love, my good friend Anne (aka Debbie) is getting married in August! Woohoo! AND, I'm going to be in her wedding. This is the first wedding I have EVER been in! It's all new to me, but I'm having fun being a part of the inside! So, Monday, I went to the bridal shop to try on my bridesmaid dress and order mine. The dresses are beautiful. It's going to be a fantastic wedding. I can't wait.
Thursday day I had lunch with my friend Jacq (from earlier- the filmmaker!). We had a great time catching up and talking about her current project. It is gonna be awesome! She is always so supportive and thoughtful, a real blessing. Thanks Jacq for the continued inspiration!
Thursday night my boyfriend and I went to the launch party for Long Beach View Magazine. Several people recognized me from the cover and that was cool. I want to get used to being a celebrity!!!! I met the editors and thanked them for the cover (since I didn't know ahead of time that it was going to happen). Also, the makeup artist from the short film I did last year, Sherri, came with her husband. So it was nice getting caught up and hanging with them. She is so incredibly talented. Her website is OnLocationBeauty.com.
So Friday night I decided to make a short 30 second film that I had an idea for. I was home alone, boyfriend went out with his uncle, and I wanted to do a film to submit to this film festival online. All the films have to be 30 seconds long, so it's a challenge to tell a story in such a short amount of time. So, I set up my camera and the apartment and filmed. Of course, I broke my boyfriend's tripod in the process (so I replaced it yesterday!). I have edited a 30 sec. version in iMovie and it's pretty cool. Of course the production quality could have been better (more light and such) but it's still kind of cool. I shot it in about an hour! I'll let you know what happens....and MAYBE I'll put it up on the website and see what you think!
Saturday I rested and I worked for a few hours today and am resting the rest of the night. I might try to do some research on a film I want to start writing....I'll keep you posted on that.
So, I hope you all had a happy Sunday and / or Easter. I wish you all happiness and love. Don't forget to tell those you care for how important they are to you. You never know when you may not get the chance to do so! Until next time....
March 7, 2005
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, it's Monday. Maybe I should change the name of the journal since it seems like it's getting more and more difficult for me to write on Sundays...hmmm. Well, in the meantime, I'll fill you in on the week.The actual week itself was relatively uneventful. I worked and worked and worked some more!
My fingers from the jam in Kung Fu last week are still healing, they are STILL swollen! AAAhhhh! But, that is no excuse not to train. So, I taped them up, sucked it up, and trained like usual. I even trained staff forms (the long stick, like the one Angelina Jolie uses in Tomb Raider 2), which I thought would really hurt my fingers, but actually was not bad. I'm glad I didn't get behind, because catching up is no fun!
Then, the weekend came, where lots of good stuff happened:
Saturday night there was another screening of the USC thesis film I was in, "Unwelcome." It was accompanied by three other great USC shorts. I'm so glad I went. Not only did I get to reunite with the wonderful cast and crew of my film, but I met lots of other talented film makers as well as learned that our film had won the Audience Choice Award at the New York Horror Film Festival! How cool is that! Thank you to Gentry, Elowny, Dan, Rich, Linus, Skye, Mr. and Mrs. Smith and their significant others, Dan, Joe, Lauren, Doug, Michael and his wife, Dan and all the other people that made the film and the screening a possibility. (Okay, I promised Dan I would shout him out - so it was intentionally that I wrote his name three times. Happy Dan? He's actually a great guy and will be a huge producer one day, so I'm really just sucking up.....ha ha ha - but I do think he'll make it big.)Then Sunday I had the awesome "SuperSHEroes" show at the Long Beach Women's Festival, organized by the great and wonderful Faith Rivera, Cheryl Bennet, Rhonda and other volunteers whose names escape me at the moment! We had a great show (thanks to Faith, Ali, Nolan, Glen, Harold and an extremely receptive audience). Unfortunately I had to leave early for work, but I was glad to have been able to spend some time and chat with everyone. Look out for the uplifting "SuperSHEroes" show near you, I think we're gonna be HUGE!!!!
So, all in all, an exciting, productive week. I hope this finds all of you well and in good health. Take your vitamins, love yourselves and those around you, and always, always, always, let your super - be (be superb!)! Until next time...
February 28, 2005
Okay, so it's not Sunday, but hey, you get the point. This week has been crazy, stressful and wonderful, all at the same time.Monday I had the first rehearsal for a show I had this past weekend. It is me and two other women, they sing and play instruments and I do poetry. The rehearsal went well and they had great ideas for our show, but they also wanted me to sing and play djembe (an African drum that I used to play) behind their songs. I freaked out! I mean, I can do it, but I felt like I needed more practice. After Monday's rehearsal, I was worried about my ability to keep up, but I practiced all week, we had another rehearsal on Wednesday and on Friday, we rocked the house! For now our group is called "Super SHEroes" - AND we're performing this Sunday at the Women's Festival of the Arts! Thank you to Faith Rivera and Ali Handal for being my soul sisters, on and off stage!
The rest of the week I worked and went to Kung Fu. Our first show was Friday night and I was in Kung Fu on Saturday afternoon. So, the one thing (my hands) that I was focussing on not hurting - since I had another show playing the drums on Sunday....is the one thing I hurt! I jammed my first three fingers on my right hand so badly that I had to sit out the rest of class. I even cried! Waaaaahhh! So now (yes, still) my fingers are swollen and black and blue! They are getting better, but they still hurt.
So that is really how I spent the majority of my week. I was nervous about the shows this past weekend (because I wanted to do well on the drums and singing!), but excited at the same time. I plan to relax a little this week and next week REALLY relax!
Until next time, love yourself and one another and always let your super-be (be superb)!
February 20, 2005
It is late and I am tired, but I didn't want another week to go by without writing. I just finished 5 loads of laundry and I am ready for bed! So, what have I been up to? I don't think there's been anything too exciting the last couple of weeks, but let me see......Well, week before last I saw a million and one students, which is good. I stood-in on a television show again, AND I had a poetry show! The poetry show was really just one poem performed for KCET's Unsung Hero of the Year awards ceremony. It was an original piece that I wrote specifically for the honorees. I wish I could say that the show went fantastically and that I was brilliant, but, um, that is not the case! I memorized the poem the day before and practiced it a million times, as is my habit with new pieces. But when I stood in front of everyone, the fourth line completed evaded me. My mind went blank. I covered for as long as I could, then I finally had to admit that I had forgotten the poem! How embarassing! The good thing was that the poem was printed in the back of the program, so I was able to enlist the audience's aid and they helped me through the piece. Once I got past that point, it was fine and great, and people seemed to like it. I am however, extremely disappointed in myself, but I suppose I'll get over it....one day!
On the 13th, I went to the world premiere of a film I was in at the Pan-African Film Festival. It wasn't bad! It was a very artistic film and approach to film making, which I knew from the beginning. The different approach is what interested me in the project in the first place. All in all, I think my performance was acceptable (now you know I'm always dissatisfied!) - but there was one scene where I looked soooooo fat! Oh my goodness! I left there feeling very depressed until I realized that it was really the outfit they had me in that did it. I mean, I am not skinny, far from it, but I looked very fat on the screen in one scene in particular. So, now I know what NOT to where on film! Ugh! Thank you to the Wilson family, all the cast and crew, the audience and my boyfriend for making it an enjoyable experience being there.
Valentine's day was relatively quiet, I worked all afternoon and rushed home, threw on a dress and my boyfriend and I walked to a Greek restaurant for dinner. We had a nice dinner and just enjoyed each other's company. Just what I like - no pressure.
This week was the last week of the television show and I was brought in to stand-in again. It's such a great set to work on, warm and positive people! One of the actresses was sick for the first two days of the week so I actually rehearsed her scenes with the principal actors as well as performed in the run-thrus for the producers and the network. That is always a good thing, because hopefully someone will see you and recognize that you're capable of being on the show, not just a stand-in. In any case it was fun to do the work, no matter what happens. Thank you to Maynard, Ken, Bill, Eunetta, Ray, Jerome, Dave, the cast, the rest of the stand-ins and the entire crew for making me feel welcome. Thursday night was the last night for the season and they had a great wrap party. We danced our hearts out and let the world disappear for a few short hours. I had forgotten how much I love to dance. I miss it.
Then last night, my boyfriend and I went to see one of my student's band play at the Roxy. They rocked! They're young and still developing, but he and his band definitely could make something of themselves. It was great to see so many young people just being themselves and their creativity thriving! Thanks Jason for the invite.
And today....I worked and did laundry...
So that's all she wrote. I hope to get back to writing (my stories and such) more soon - hopefully I'll have more to report in the near future. I am off to sleep as I have rehearsal tomorrow for a show on Friday night. I hope this finds you all well and healthy! Take care of you, you are worthy. I send you all my love. Until next time....
February 7, 2005
Well, I wanted to write yesterday, but the day ended up being so full that I didn't get a chance. But today....I am up bright and early so I have plenty of time!!!! 'Why are you up so early?' you ask? Well, I am taking care of a good friends kids for a couple of days and I had to be motherly like and take them to school. They are great kids so I don't mind, but I know I will be exhausted later! So, let's see what happened this week.I did another week of standing in, which is always great because I am earning more money, but on the other hand, it always makes me late for my tutoring students. If I didn't enjoy being on the set so much, I suppose I would be more conflicted about it. But also, for those of you in Los Angeles, you know that television shows are wrapping up their seasons this month and the next. And then school will be out in May and June, and then, I will be wondering where all my money is! So, right now I am like the squirrel on the hunt for nuts that I can bury so I won't starve later! Financial abundance is a major goal of mine this year, so I am focused on earning and saving more!
I wanted to hear so badly about that print job I mentioned last week. I just knew I was going to book it....but I haven't heard. : ( It's not the end of the world, but it would have been great. They were looking for spoken word artists to wear Levi's for their print ads. Well, whoever got it, I hope they're someone I know so I can be happy they got the job. In any case I am happy that they were looking specifically for spoken words artists, it means we are starting to make a name for ourselves!
I had a great audition this Saturday for an independent feature film. I think it was a supporting role that I was reading for, but it didn't really say. I had auditioned for the director before and he liked my work from the last audition so he called me again. That is always a good feeling, just puts you at ease in the room. I'll keep you posted.
So, a film I had a supporting role in last summer called "The Man Who Couldn't" will be premiering at the Pan-African Film Festival (www.paff.org) this month. I haven't seen the film yet so I don't know if I'm any good in it, but I suppose if some of you wanted to venture out to see it, it wouldn't be the end of the world. I believe there will be two screenings within the festival dates. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. As you can imagine, I'm rarely completely satisfied with my performances and I always see something I should have done differently. Thus is the nature of the art I suppose.
I saw two movies this weekend, both of which I thought were great. The first, 'Hide and Seek' scared the bejesus out of me several times. My boyfriend wasn't nearly as frightened as I was. I got a lot of good screams in (to the point where the whole theatre was laughing at me because I was screaming for practically nothing). But, hey, that's what horror films are for, right? I know a lot of people weren't pleased with the ending, and it was similar to another film that came out last year....but I still enjoyed the ride, so I wasn't mad. Then my boyfriend and I went to 'Meet the Fockers,' finally! I laughed my patooty off! I sometimes wonder if I am a sucker for 'stupid' jokes, but if so, I don't care, because it felt good to laugh so hard. Yes, I was even crying I was laughing so hard! My boyfriend laughed too, but not nearly as hard. So, we had a day of extremes, all a part of the roller coaster of life.
No writing got done this week. Argh! But, I did go to see Ray Bradbury for the third year in a row. I was late because one of my tutoring students had a math test the next day, but I made it eventually. He told a few new stories and some of the old ones with new details. From his appearance, it is clear that he is getting older, I hate it! He wasn't feeling well this time and left without signing books, the first time I've seen him do that. But, with all that being said, he still so sharp and full of life and wit. Every word he said in the form letter I received when I was in 7th grade is still valid, he believes our purpose here to is bear witness to the incredible wonder and mystery of the universe. That we should do what we love, and nothing else. We should be in love with all kinds of things and never let them go, you never know where that love will lead you. We should write down all the things we hate and then get rid of them. We should write down all the things we love and always love them. In answer to where his energy and writing comes from he replied, 'the idea gives you energy. Get excited about an idea and it will propel you forward.' (paraphrased). If you ever get a chance to see this man live, even if you've never read any of his books, you should do so. He is a legend living among us and his love and passion will infect and inspire you to do wondrous things with your life.
So, on that note, I will leave you. Love is truly the answer. Until next time...
January 30, 2005
These last two weeks have been relatively hectic, but I always prefer to work, than not to work! I've been tutoring my little patootie off, preparing many of my students for their semester finals. Anyone have any questions about Geometry or Algebra? How about Trig? I've got all the answers!!!! It's funny, I think I'm more stressed than the kids! Even today I tutored for a total of 6 hours.So, last week I 'auditioned' for a print campaign (something that would end up in magazines and such). I put auditioned in quotes because they really just wanted to take polaroids of us to see if we looked like our picture! I'm not going to say too much more about it until I know if I booked it or not. But, as always, you will be the first to know!
This week I auditioned for two projects. One was for a small part on a drama television show and the other was for a Toyota commercial! I know I didn't get the TV show, but I feel I did well. From what I hear, they were looking to find someone to 'go with' the guy who they had already cast as her husband. Thank you to Stephon and Alpha who made that audition possible. Then, the Toyota commercial. Well, commercial auditions, if you've never been on one, tend to be pretty basic. They want to see if you have personality and what you look like on camera. This one required more acting than usual and was fun. We had to react to all kinds of cool things happening, cars appearing, light coming up from the ground, clouds in the sky. Like I said, it was fun. I mean, if you can't have fun in the process, what's the point?
Let's see, what else? Last week I worked as a stand-in again. It's funny because almost two years ago I decided to NEVER work as a stand-in again. It is such a two fold situation, the money is decent, you can earn your insurance through the acting union, and you can be on a set every day. The down side is few people see you as an actor that belongs in front of the camera, thus the reason why I stopped. Now, I am working as a stand-in again, only this time I am just filling in for someone. It feels good to be back on a set, but the same frustrations arrive when the cameras roll and I'm sitting behind them. So, I enjoy my time on the set, make the money, be grateful for a job, and focus on how I'm going to make my acting career my full-time job!
This week I had a great session in the studio with my dear friend / mentor / inspiration, Faith Rivera (www.FaithGroove.com). I wrote a piece to go with one of her wonderful songs for her next album, and we recorded it this week. It was nice to be in the studio again.....got me thinking about my next album....hmmmm...well, I'll keep you posted on that one. In the meantime, I will appear on Faith's next album, I'll let you know when that drops as well. The poem, although short, is posted for the month. Can you believe it? A new poem? I can hardly believe it myself!
Oh, and last, but definitely NOT least....last week I was selected to present a commemorative poem to the honorees of KCET's Unsung Hero of the Year Awards! So, this past week I have been faced with the daunting task of writing the poem properly honoring this year's unsung heroes. I finally finished it tonight (thank goodness, as it is due tomorrow, 1/31!!). I went through three different versions, but finally settled on a poem I am proud of. I will post it next month for y'all.
So, besides having to overcome a few minor attacks of "why didn't I get the job?"'s, these two weeks have been productive and challenging. This year I am making myself write more, so, as it goes, I will let you know what happens....I hope to shoot a short of my own and maybe get a writing agent...hmmm......
In the meantime and in between time, don't forget to love yourself, be passionate about what you do and who you love, and spread kindness and good as often as possible. Until next time....
January 16, 2005
Well, the new year is now in full swing and I continue to work work work! I'm glad to be working, so I'm not complaining. The year started for me on January 2nd with a full day of tutoring. I then went right into a stand-in job on the television show One on One. (For those that don't know, a 'stand-in' is someone who learns the blocking for the actors on the show and sometimes does the scene so the cameras can practice their moves.) It is a great set and was so much fun to work on. Thank you to Maynard for bringing me on and to Ken, Eunetta, Bill, Tracy, Wynonna, Tamala, Saskia, Flex, Maxmillian, Sicily, Tim, Eric, Fred, Jerome, Dave, Greg, Robert, Dennis, Ytossi, Herb and Kyle and everyone else for making it such a great week.On Tuesday I auditioned for a pilot television show on the Oxygen network and went all the way to the network! That means that the casting people and the producers liked me enough to bring me to the people at the network. I am still waiting to hear either way, but, as always I am thankful for the opportunity and know it is I who must make the best of them.
I finally finished reading the 900 page book "The Mists of Avalon." It was a great book that drew me in completely. It is not flawlessly written, but has a similar appeal as Harry Potter as it takes you into a world and you feel you live there while you read. Thanks to Tisha for the recommendation.
Also, I have been working on a new design for my website. Hopefully you will SEE it soon-once I learn how to do everything I want to do......as always, I will keep you posted.
So, that is about it. If I have forgotten anything I will be sure to fill you in next time. I hope this finds you all well and following your heart in the 2005.
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time." - Steven Wright.
Love yourself and others, it will make your life and the world a better place. Until next time......
